Victim stories negatively affect us and our attitude towards others and life, yet we all carry them around
As much as we hate to admit it, we've probably all told victim stories. We've certainly had them told to us. It's time to banish them. The victim story is the one you auto-share that alerts everyone (including yourself) that you've been wronged by someone or some unfair situation. The telling (and retelling) confirms the need to feel…
In the world of sports for example, becoming successful is contingent on positive habits
When we talk about habits, most of us immediately reflect on those we wish to break or remove. Habits like smoking, overeating, alcohol consumption, gambling and chewing ones nails, etc. seem an easy pattern to fall into, but stopping them somehow seems so much harder. We start out with such great intentions towards daily exercise…
The greatest gift you can give yourself is to accept your limitations and honour those activities that make you feel good when you do them
Canadians are expected to spend significantly less this Christmas season – or so the story goes – but that doesn't mean the holiday stress will melt away. The other night, my husband and I headed to the local mall to see what we could check off our Santa list. In spite of the mall being nearly…Getting your message across effectively can be difficult while giving a presentation, or during a job interview or when dealing with an upset person
Communication can be a real challenge. When you're feeling pushed, it's that much harder. Whether you’re giving a presentation, attending a job interview, dealing with an upset person, or simply conversing at work or in your personal life, ensuring you get your message across – and, equally important, hearing what the other person is saying…
One of the real pluses of being an Empty Nester is that you are no longer on view as a role model 24/7
Free at last, free at last! The children have grown up and moved away, your house is your own to do with what you will and your schedule is now open to anything you wish to pursue. So why are you so divided in your feelings? Empty Nest syndrome hits when your daughter or son…
Intuition is your unconscious self recognizing circumstances before your intellectual self does. You should be listening to its voice
I once spoke at a conference where a lot of pre-seminar chatter was about the need to trust one’s intuition, especially when it comes to safety. This is a great discussion point, but a lot of people simply don’t allow intuition a chance to alert them or they ignore the obvious signs when intuition is…
Creative solutions to complex and challenging problems come from a willingness to constructively navigate civilized disagreements
Conflict is natural and often unavoidable. But when emotion takes centre stage, it can lead to hostility. We've all encountered unproductive, frustrating or infuriating situations. We know how they make us feel. What's often less obvious is the degree to which nonverbal nuances contributed to the problem. Take the way our facial micro gestures (specifically around…
Take your mind off automatic pilot and get it to work for you rather than against you
When left to our own devices, we humans have the capacity to create 'worst case scenarios' that play around in our heads unchecked and often without boundaries. When this happens, it paralyzes us and prevents us from speaking up when someone hurts our feelings, springing into action on an exciting opportunity or doing what needs…
When someone dies, the loss is often more widespread than we recognize, and the tragedy and permanence of death shocks and scares us
I once found out (on Facebook of all places) that a dear friend had passed away suddenly. I was in shock. Had it been April Fool’s Day, I might have believed it was someone’s inappropriate joke. But it wasn’t. I didn’t know what to say or what to feel. I was numb. One of my…
Focus on your characteristics and skills, allowing other people to determine for themselves which skills are useful for the job and which aren’t
We detect the confidence of others automatically, whether we think we’re perceptive or not. Confidence is conveyed in words, posture, voice tone and gestures. Whenever we communicate with others, our minds are watching for mismatches – alerting us to a person's lack of sincerity. This can spell disaster when we're interviewing for a new job or…