Want to be a better leader? Take a breath

A two-minute breathing reset can help you turn a hostile meeting into a solution-focused conversation

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When the stakes are high, the most effective leaders don’t rely on force—they lead with calm, clarity and connection. That kind of presence starts with something as simple as a breath.

A senior strategist I coach—let’s call her S—was minutes away from a tense arbitration call to resolve a workplace dispute. Her ribs were tight, her breath shallow, and her thoughts were spiralling into what-ifs. She’d done the prep, had her talking points, but her body hadn’t gotten the memo. Her nervous system was stuck in panic mode, and no bullet point in the world was going to cut through that fog.

We hit pause. For two minutes, we did nothing but breathe—slowly, deliberately, with a rhythm designed to send the body a simple message: you are safe, you are ready, you are capable. And something remarkable happened.

She didn’t walk into that call with force. She walked in with presence. She asked questions instead of making arguments. And the tone of the conversation shifted almost immediately—from adversarial to solution-focused.

This story isn’t just about breathwork or coaching. It’s about the tools we reach for when outcomes matter. It’s about how the simplest interventions—breathing, curiosity and well-timed questions—can transform how we lead and how we’re perceived in moments that count.

Breathing might not sound like a leadership strategy, but it’s often the hinge between reactivity and resilience. When your body is hijacked by anxiety or adrenaline, the thinking brain gets benched. Logic falters. Communication narrows. You don’t collaborate—you defend.

Deep, rhythmic breathing activates the parasympathetic nervous system—the part of the body responsible for calm focus and cognitive clarity. It’s the internal version of steady hands at the wheel. In a noisy, fast-moving world, calm is often mistaken for competence—because it is.

You can’t lead well if your breath never reaches your belly. And you definitely can’t listen, reflect or influence when you’re white-knuckling your way through a conversation.

Once S was back in her body, she did something that required discipline. She led with a question. Not a defensive one. Not a trap. A genuinely open-ended question meant to get everyone thinking together rather than talking past one another.

“What principle are we each trying to protect here, and how would we know if we were successful?”

That one sentence reoriented the conversation. Not because it was clever, but because it was connective. It reframed the issue from a problem to be won to an outcome to be designed. That’s what the best questions do: they shift the game.

In leadership, the ability to ask better questions often separates those who command attention from those who compete for it.

Frustration can guide you if you aim it at systems, not people

Most of us carry a list of workplace irritants: inefficient processes, poor communication, bad policy dressed up as innovation. The key is to turn that frustration into fuel.

Instead of venting, ask:

• What is the system protecting here?
• Who benefits from this bottleneck?
• What would need to change for this problem to disappear?

When you direct your energy toward structure rather than individual fault, you position yourself as a voice for transformation, not just another name in the complaint file.

If you want to integrate this approach into your own leadership or help others do the same, start here:

1. Breathe before you speak. Two minutes of deliberate breathing before any crucial conversation. It’s the reset button we often skip.
2. Identify the real question. Strip away the drama and find the core dilemma. That’s where the leverage lives.
3. Sequence with intention. Start with “What’s happening?” Move to “What’s possible?” End with “What’s next?”
4. Notice when you default to defensiveness. Replace your next retort with a curious question instead.
5. Name what needs fixing, then frame it as a question. “Why does this persist?” is more strategic than “Why aren’t they fixing it?”

Whether you’re leading a team, managing a project or simply navigating tough conversations at work, these tools matter more than ever.

We’re operating in an era of complexity overload: more information, more noise, more volatility. The leaders who will cut through aren’t necessarily the loudest—they’re the clearest. They bring stillness into noisy rooms. They ask the questions no one else thought to ask. They’re not performing—they’re engaging.

We don’t need more posturing. We need more poise.

And it starts, quite literally, with a breath and a better question.

Faith Wood is a professional speaker, author, and certified professional behaviour analyst. Before her career in speaking and writing, she served in law enforcement, which gave her a unique perspective on human behaviour and motivations. Faith is also known for her work as a novelist, with a focus on thrillers and suspense. Her background in law enforcement and understanding of human behaviour often play a significant role in her writing.